Being Intentional About Relationships

There is a situation that has come up got me thinking about being intentional about our relationships.  Especially the ones we really want to cultivate and don’t make a genuine effort to do so.  I mean, when I think about it, I spend more time with my online friends than I do with a lot of people in real life.  I have online friends that I speak with daily while there are local people that I don’t speak to for weeks at a time.  I don’t make the effort to call or stop by. 

 

And to those who are my online friends, I love you dearly and I am so thankful for my friendships with each one of you, but seriously, I think it is extremely important to spend time with the people in your community.  It’s extremely important to build a high level of intimacy with our church family (good sermon on Sunday about that).  And we just don’t do it.  I think it’s really sad that we are too busy to make time for one another in real life but we can carve time out of our day for people across the continent and across the world via twitter, facebook, email groups and instant messaging.

 

The issue that started this whole train of thought involves a relationship that I do not want to cultivate.  I want it to go away and I have every right to do so.  I believe the other parties feel the same, quite frankly but really it’s beyond  my control.  Anyway, I think good has come of this tough relationship in getting me thinking about getting out there in my community.  I have a desire to make time for those here in my real life, in my present life.  I want to start / keep building relationships here with people that I can help in a time or need, or who can help me in a similar situation.  My online friends can’t really do anything if I need immediate hands on help just like I can’t help them, except to pray.

 

My local friend, Tammy-Lee, whom I speak of often on Just Our Thoughts has helped push me in the direction of her and I making time for each other.  We have set aside two days a month where we will get together just to spend the afternoon and do nothing.  Or we pick a project.  Or we just sit and visit and let my kids play.  Both Tammy-Lee and I feel this is really important.  We’re both busy, but we felt that there had to be at the very least two days (afternoons) a month that we could set aside.

 

Another friend and I get together on Mondays while our children go to choir.  I treasure our conversations.  Often times our talks keep me thinking for a good chunk of the week.  We don’t always talk about deep stuff or spiritual stuff, but we have different things in common than Tammy-Lee and I do.  Reagan fills my friendship cup in a different way.  Really, I need them both in my life.  (I think it’s obvious because God has placed them both in my life right now.) 

 

Reagan and I have known each other long than Tammy-Lee and I have but have never built our relationship until this fall.  That delay wasn’t intentional; it wasn’t due to lack of wanting to on either side.  I guess it needed to be in God’s timing and circumstances.  God has led Reagan and her husband down a road, a path of study, that I am now slowly traveling and exploring.  Their insight and direction and opinion and study are important to me now.  A year ago or more I wouldn’t have cared.  God knew.

 

I would like to do something similar with other moms / ladies / couples in the community.  I know that will get my schedule pretty full, but it’s full of good things; it would be filled with people.  You have to remember that all of this visiting talk is coming from a introvert.  I do not get my energy from people.  I would way sooner hide at my desk or in my home.  I will need to find the balance so I’m not pushed to the brink because I don’t have the time alone that I need to stay sane.

 

We’re gonna take it slow.  Christmas time is a busy time as it is, but I’d like to sneak in a couple of extra intentional visits in the next 6 weeks or so with people from our fire fighter family and our church family.  In the new year, we’ll see how things go and make visiting a regular part of our monthly activities.  I think being intentional about relationships is important.

 

Still diggin',