My Strong Reaction

 

So why did I react so strongly to someone’s (who I don’t know)  off-handed remark about daycare centers and socialization?  I don’t really know.

 

My hubby says it was P.M.S. While that could have been a small factor, I don’t think it’s the whole story.

 

I have a feeling my reaction had more to do with feeling judged.  Or because I am not as secure in my decisions in parenting, and educating my children as I thought I was.  Or because I was outraged by the injustice in the world that children can’t be cared for by their mommas because their mommas have to work.

 

My reaction was too strong.  I used statements that were an exaggeration of my true feelings, in the heat of the moment.

 

I am hear today to restate my initial status message.

 

The Original Statement:

Suddenly so mad I could spit nails. Not sure why this topic is so angering to me, but today it is! Babies should not be in daycare for the social development!!!! Babies should be with their mommas if at all possible! Babies do not NEED social development unless that social development is bonding with immediate family and friends! Daycare is a necessary evil in my opinion! Daycare is for mommas who HAVE TO work.

 

The Re-Statement:

Suddenly I am so mad that I could spit nails.  Mothers who do not want to put their children in daycare, shouldn’t have to!  Friends should not have to comfort said mothers with comments with “at least he’s getting good social development”.  In my opinion, babies should be with their mothers as much as possible.  That’s the way God designed it.  I know that’s not always possible!  I do understand that.  While I don’t believe that babies need tonnes of social development, they do need time with close friends and relatives who love them.  These people in their lives will help to develop them in many different ways, not just socially!  Daycare centers are FAR FROM THE IDEAL!  I trained to work in daycare centers!  The staff turnover rate is high!  That’s not a stable environment.  So, although not ideal, many times daycare centers are very necessary. And for that reason, I am glad that mothers, who have to (or want to) work, have a safe place to leave their children while they do so.

 

Now, as I’m re-reading all of this, something hit me.  The statement by the friend, who I’m sure meant no harm and only good:

 

“at least he’s getting good social development”

 

This statement begs the question: does the writer think that the child was not getting good social development at home, with his momma???  Maybe that’s what I was reacting to initially.

 

I apologize for my strong, and judgemental comments.  I know that we are all just doing the best that we can, with the situations we are given, the knowledge we have, and the journey we are on.  In general day to day life, I believe myself to NOT be a judgemental person.  And if I am, I would hope that my close friend would tell me so, and not tell me what I want to hear!  (Iron sharpens iron, remember?) 

 

And as I stated in last night’s, post, I learned a lot from those who chimed in on Facebook.  I got perspectives I had lost sight of in my tunnel vision of doing what I do.  I get so focused on doing what I believe is right for my family, which is often very different than what others choose to do for their families, that I have blinders on and I don’t see that there are other CORRECT and just as good ways to do things.  My way is not the only way!

 

Being a mom in today’s society is HARD WORK!  We are attacked at every turn.  And here I have attacked other moms and their decisions.  For that, I apologize.

 

Still learning.  Still growing.

 

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,