After Jason did some work on the yard today, he and I went inside the big green fence that separates our burnt out house from the outside world. I wanted to see if I could find any sign of my Kirby vacuum. It’s not very stable in there so J said that he hadn’t been digging around to find it. As I was looking at the wreckage, I started noticing things – burn patterns where the fire did and didn’t go. The fire did just as I saw it do… You know how you second guess yourself.
I had gotten to thinking that maybe I was mistaken, maybe the flames didn’t follow me up the stairs. Looking at where the staircase used to be was confirming… that area is burnt, badly. Charred blackened wood, no stairs, no framing, no window. Basically just the stucco…
The fire started at the washer, which stood at the bottom of the stairs, off to the right. Looking back from there, the studs are still there; Kristyn’s room is still intact! I can see her bed, and her desk! Jason said that the fire department was spraying water in the window above her room. The floor that was the ceiling of her room is still there. Charred, and falling, but there.
We saw the toaster that was in the kitchenette area we had on the main floor. The cupboard all around it, gone. Ashes. The fridge that was there… I couldn’t see it anywhere, but it had probably fallen and I just didn’t notice where it fell.
The doorway where the first fire fighter attempted to enter is also more intact than the rest of the house. Again, J said that’s where they were spraying water. If you’ve seen pictures of that night, the deck (which is still there) was covered in a THICK layer of ice with icicles dripping down to the ground.
Standing on the big main deck, and looking down into what used to be our kitchen, I could see our counter dishwasher, the shelf that was above my sink where my grandmother’s teacups and saucers were – ashes and broken in pieces. Also on that shelf was the cake topper from our wedding in 2000. Strewn all over the kitchen space were tools, that fell from above when the floor burnt out from under them – wrenches and axes, hammers and knives.
All around the perimeter of the basement are piles of debris. The morning after the fire started the fire department called in a large piece of machinery to pull the house apart because it would not quit burning. The department had used many thousands of gallons of water on the house already and I guess tearing it apart was the next step and best option.
Looking at these piles of ruble that used to be our home and our belongings is like a giant I SPY book. There’s a toy box of melted toys, no box, just the toys melted into the shape of what the wooden box used to be. There are items of clothing, half burnt, here and there. A mattress. At the front there is a pile of things that used to be on the deck – a trampoline waiting for a new home, pool floaties, footwear, a cedar chest waiting to be refinished and moved indoors, and exersaucer and a toy toolbox. Scattered about are the metal boxes that used to be washers, dryers, fridges, and the like. Everything was damaged by the intense heat and no longer useable even though some items look totally fine.
I see God in every step. Knowing the time line – how long it took me to get out, how long it took the fire department to arrive, how hot the house was at first entry attempt, seeing the charred remains – I can see His hand of protection. Again today, I said to Jason, “If anyone had been asleep, they would not have made it out, not even with the smoke detector and heat sensor in the house.” I said that even with our normal bedtime routine (at 9-9:30 the older children would have been in their rooms but not asleep) they would have made it to safety. They would have responded just as they did that night. I went on to speculate that even an hour later, the children would have been in their beds, would have been sleeping and would NOT have made the run to safety!
I know the fire department covered these “what ifs” and other scenarios in their follow up debriefing. I am grateful for that, but I am still processing. I go on to think about 2 hours or 3 hours later, when J and I would have also been in bed. The basement fire alarm would not have awakened us. It would have been too late for us and the babies in our room, too.
And the scary thing is that we had fire alarms, and we had heat sensors. We had a monitored security system that included fire installed and working and turned on in our home! It failed! The alarm company did not contact us. In fact, I contacted them and notified them that we’d had a house fire and complete loss! (But that’s a whole post for another day!)
All of this is to say that God is in control. We can have all the safety measures and take all the precautions, but God is going to direct what happens in our lives. All I can say is that God spared our lives that night. God has a longer life in store for this family. I don’t know if we are supposed to learn something from this. But I do know that I have another experience under my belt (so to speak) that I can use in my relationships with others to help and comfort and be a friend. I have another experience where I can relate, 100%.
Striving to live and learn God’s principals,
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