Depression Part 3 - The Community and Managing Depression

At the end of Depression Part 2, I talked about how I am getting better control of my automatic thought processes. One of the ways I've been able to do that is with my husband's help; he just gets me to think through things, asks me what's making me so angry, forcing me to look back. However, J hasn't been the only one to aid in my "recovery".

The Community and Managing Depression

The WebMD article suggests reaching out to family and friends. Besides, my DH, I have also had conversations with my friend Tammy-Lee. I know that I can call or text her when I feel that I'm getting out of control. My text is sometimes just, "Pray for me, things are getting intense here!" And I get an, "Okay, I'm praying." Sometimes technology is great! I have talked to my mom a little here and there too about anger issues and frustrations. She has come a long way from when we were little to now. I said I'd never be "like that" and as a child there were things I didn't see then that added to her stress. NOW I get why she seemed (was) so angry. And I am "like that" and I don't have the same stressors at all! My mom is a different woman today. Now I want to be like her. I appreciate and value the work both these ladies (Tammy-Lee and my mom) have done to become more Christ-like and happy individuals; they've become women I want to be like.

Most communities have support groups and meetings that a person could attend, but we don't have that type of group here. One of the other suggestions is to do something new; get out of the rut. I guess, if I needed to I could start such a group and that could be my something new. Instead, though, I'm just taking back some of my old habits and things that I enjoyed before like serving my family, baking, reading and walking (but not at the same time).

The professionals in our communities are there to help us. Of course, there is always the caution to keep watch for more serious signs; if you are no longer functioning, get professional help. Don't wait around. Life is too short to wallow in depression; you can be happy. It may require some work, but you can.

Watch for substance abuse. After our son died in 2004, J and I would often say to each other, "I know now why people turn to drugs and alcohol! It would be so easy to do." At first we said this because we wanted to numb the pain we were feeling, but over time we became so numb that we just wanted to feel something, anything, again. Don't turn to those things. Go to a friend; do one of the other things suggested, or speak with a health care professional. That's what they are there for!

One of the biggest differences I've seen in my life, since depression really hit, is the fact that I don't really have fun any more. I'm changing that. Depression stole my joy and it stole the happy me. It took my smile. For a long time, my dh used to say, "You are grumpy/angry/sad, with bouts of happiness! Where's the happy, fun girl I married?" Now, more often he'll encourage me and say, "You are happy, with bouts of grumpy! Now bring back that happy!" DH and I are getting out more together. We want to be with friends and interact with the people in our community. That's something that I enjoy doing. I've talked on my blog about hospitality - having people into my home. I am taking that back too! We are inviting people in more and more often - for a meal, for coffee, for a swim, just because.

I have had to work at having fun again. Everything became a chore. I am even learning to have fun doing chores. As much as my pregnancies have added to my depression, the babies and children are also teaching me to have fun! I have to make the work around the house fun (and necessary) for them, or they're not on board with doing it.

I'm not "there" yet. I have a lot of work to do, but reading the WebMD article and writing these three posts on depression have showed me more clearly how far I've come (and consequently, how low I was!). I hope that by me sharing my story and my "travels", I have helped someone else. If you are in the midst of this, you are not alone; you can make it. I mean, if I can do it, you can too!


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

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