Our Newest Addition - His Birth Story

Matthias James Ilmari

EDD: August 18, 2010
Born: Sunday, August 15, 2010 5:24 am

It was Fair Days and the fire department was an active part of the festivities.  Being 39 weeks pregnant I was unsure that I was going to attend but decided to take the children for a couple of hours.  They rode on some of the rides, ate cotton candy, and dunked Daddy in the fire department’s dunk tank.  I had trouble when I wanted to head home.  The children did not want to leave.  It was just after three when we arrived home.  Due to attitudes and being overtired, I sent everyone to their beds for naps.  I usually sit at my computer for some undisturbed time online to work on my blog or something, but this time I chose to lay down in my bed as well (as I had just prior to taking the kids to the fair).  No one napped, nor did they stay in their beds very long, but attitudes were better so I let them up to watch a bit of television.

By 5:30 pm I was having regular contractions (as regular as they got) that were coming every 8 to 20 minutes.  And seriously, that’s as regular as they got.  I called J, who was still at the Fair, to tell him that labor had started, that he didn’t need to rush home, but that he should find someone else to take on his responsibilities for the next day.

We got supper, baths and bedtime done and told the older girls what was going on, so they were prepared if they needed to be moved to my friend’s home in the middle of the night.  They were a little excited but did very well with staying in bed and going to sleep.  The younger two went to sleep well.  I contacted my friend to give her a heads up and we decided that unless someone woke up and needed attention that we would just keep the children here through the night and not disturb them or her.  I would call her in the morning so she could get them for breakfast and take them to church.  I called my midwife, Cathy, to let her know where things were at so we could make a plan for her trip to me.  She had missed the last two births and we didn’t want her to miss this one too.

Because my contractions were still very irregular (certainly not by the book; they were not getting closer together; they were not really getting more intense) we decided to wait about another hour.  At around 9:30, Cathy decided that she would slowly make her way this direction (a two hour drive) and sleep in her car until she was needed.  If things petered out, she’d just return home in the morning.

Jason ended up falling asleep.  I puttered around on the computer and around the house, cleaning things up and getting a few things set up for when they would be needed later.  My contractions were still 10 to 20 minutes apart.  I did try to sleep from time to time but never got very much.  Eventually I moved some small toy boxes and laundry baskets out of the way so I could start getting the camp-bed out.  (NOTE:  Don’t use an air mattress to deliver a baby on!  It’s too bouncy, does not provide support and is not great for recovery either.)

All of a sudden, around 2:30 am, I needed Jason and Cathy NOW!  The contractions were harder and coming a little more often but not more regular.  We got the bed completely set up and showed Cathy where her supplies were that we had collected.

Jason says that for the whole night I wandered around like a sheep looking for a place to give birth.  I guess I was.  Finally, I was convinced to lay down and rest between contractions.  My contractions became less intense but never quit.  We all began to think that maybe we’d have a while to go yet.

During this time, Rayna (22 months) was awake.  We just had her stay awake in her bed.  From where she was she could see us and interact with us.  Eventually, she just lay down and went back to sleep.

All of a sudden, and I mean all. of. a. sudden, I HAD TO get up.  I JUST HAD TO.  I had not vocalized through very many contractions up to this point.  Simple concentration and such had gotten me through each one to this point.  However, during this next contraction, the house sprang into action.  Jason and Cathy were immediately up and ready to help however I needed.  I don’t know for sure what time it was but I’ve been told it was close to 5:00 am.

I started pushing with that contraction.  At 5:11 am my water broke.  I don’t know how many pushes, but at 5:24 am baby was born.

Now for some thoughts, after the fact.

I remember saying, “I’m not ready for this.  It’s happening too fast.”  I remember snapping at Jason because he wouldn’t quit offering me knee pads.  I remember not wanting to tear; I’ve never torn.  I remember having the urge to push but purposely holding back.  Looking back I realize that doing that caused my midwife some concern.

I was facing Jason who was sitting on a chair pushing, and resting.  Cathy tried to get baby’s heart rate and that really frustrated me because the angle was bad; she couldn't get a heart rate and baby was not coming as quickly as she expected.  She became concerned and had Jason help me flip to my back so that she could maneuver baby out.  From the time she started to take the heart rate I felt I’d lost control of my birth.  I was hurt (emotionally) and slightly offended.

However, I have since had a chance to speak with Cathy about it and feel at peace now.  It was a miscommunication.  With my history of shoulder dystocia and “tight” babies I understand her position.  Having done two births unassisted (only Jason was there to help me), having to trust my body and listen intently to it, I didn’t feel the need to communicate what I was doing (not pushing) or why.

Back to the story:

Immediately after his birth, baby was on my chest.  I checked the gender and immediately relaxed.  Jason and Cathy took over; I was so relieved that it was over, that my baby was here, that I’d done it again.  I had another boy.  I didn’t pass out but I was spent.  I had no desire to move and didn’t care how uncomfortable I was.  Thankfully, they took great care of me; soon baby and I were snuggled in and he was nursing vigorously.

Oh, the other children:

Marrissa was awake first and woke the others.  She said, “I heard a squeaky cry and I was scared.”  Matthias does have a very squeaky cry.  Jason kept the girls downstairs for as long as he could but they we awfully excited and wanted to meet  their new baby brother.  About 6:30 am, I texted my friend and she came to get the five of them so Jason, Matthias and I could rest.

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,