How many times have you been pregnant? For me, it’s been 7 times, so far. This question from BloggyMoms.com has me thinking about each time. What lead me to think I was pregnant? When did I know? How did I feel about being pregnant? It is so fun to think back and remember.
Jason and I knew we’d never wait to have children, like we were advised during our marriage counselling. We didn’t actively try for a baby but we did nothing to prevent a pregnancy either. We got pregnant with Kristyn a few short weeks after our wedding. I was still in college and was a little nervous and a lot sick and always tired. We were excited though.
Baby #2, Cora, was conceived while we were on vacation in Ontario. We’d gone there for me to meet my in-laws for the first time. Kristyn was just barely 3 months old. I didn’t really believe it. I was under the understanding that nursing prevented a pregnancy. Again (always) we were excited. But thoughts like, “two babies in a year?!?” “two in diapers!”
Harvey was the only baby that came in “our timing”. Of course everything is God’s timing but we planned this baby. We were super excited. We had lots of excitement and couldn’t wait for baby’s arrival. We were hoping for a boy; his name had been picked out since Kristyn’s pregnancy! Everyone thought we were crazy. We would have three babies, aged 3 and under. Sadly, God took our first son back to heaven shortly after his birth.
I watched my cycle so carefully after Harvey’s short life. We didn’t want to get pregnant very quickly this time. We felt (and others told us the same) that we needed to have some time and some space to grieve and to get over this death. God had a different plan. Way before we were ready, I was pregnant again. Fear. Excitement. Sadness. Regret. Why now? Can we do this again? What if? Marrissa was born healthy and arrived safely!
Soon I was a mom to 3 girls, and I think everyone kind of thought we would be done. We’d tried for another boy and got a girl so . . . we must be. However, we were soon pregnant with baby #5 – Wyatt. I don;t remember how I felt. I know there were many of the same feelings as Marrissa’s pregnancy; things would never be the same after a loss.
Just after Wyatt’s first birthday I became pregnant with baby #6 – Rayna. People expected this one; it was time. Jason knew before I did. After I took the pregnancy test, he said, “I told you so.” I have almost always been ready for, hoping for, a new baby by the time I get pregnant. This time was no different, even if it was accompanied by the now normal fears.
I was really ready to be pregnant again when baby #7 was on his way – Matthias. This one was strange. I had two friends who knew I was pregnant before I even had any idea. The one threatened to go buy me a pregnancy test if I didn’t. I was . . . you guessed it . . . excited to be pregnant yet again!
And, if I get pregnant again, I will be excited and nervous.
Striving to learn and live God's purposes, 
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