~~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, chapter 2.
Still diggin',
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Is she reading my mind? Is she living my life?
“Funny, this. Yesterday morning, the morning before, all these mornings, I wake to the discontent of life in my skin. I wake to self-hatred. To the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always, the failing. I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctors appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect cleaning the toilets. I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary. Years, I felt it in the veins, the pulsing of ruptured hopes. Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough? But this morning, I wake wildly wanting to live. Physically feeling it in the veins trembling, the hard pant of the lungs, the seeing it in the steady stars, how much I really want to really live. How I don’t want to die.”
Still diggin',
Still diggin',
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2 comments:
She also seems to have described my life... I feel there is so much more I should be doing, so much more to ME that I am ignoring.. not going with the flow of God's plan, but fighting the current so I can stay "comfortable" in my bad habits and idleness.
oh wow...yeah...that is SO me!
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