I wrote this with Dr. Laura in mind because I heard her once say something about marrying an Elephant and getting mad because he couldn't sit in your lap.
SPOTS AND STRIPES
By Patti Woosley
When you marry a Tiger
You gotta love stripes
Cause it's his stripes you will see
when you climb into bed very night
No, you won't ever change 'em
no matter how hard you try
and your Tiger will have stripes
till the day that he dies
But if you married a Leopard
He will always have spots
So you had just better learn
to love what you've got
Cause you won't ever change 'em
no matter how hard you try
and your Leopard will stay spotted
Why would you ask why?
If you fantasize a soft kitten
curling up in your lap
the Porcupine you married
Will never do that
But if you try to change him
you surely will cry
So love your little Porcupine
and kiss the fantasy goodbye
Stop always wanting
What he ain't got
and stop trying to change him
into something he's not
Just be sure that you love him
the way that he tis
Tiger, Leopard, or Porcupine
He is, what he is.
J and I had a conversation along this line when he was home last.
I am not very domestic. I hate cleaning my house in the worst way and do only what I have to. I find very very little joy in it. He hates to come home to a messy house. And so we fight. After one such fight (the last time he was home) he said that he needed to just decide to love me for who I was and not try to force me to change.
For me, I guess my issues with him are his sleeping habits and and the outside fun he gets to do alone (and by fun I mean anything from fire practice to going to the shop to work on his car). I need to accept that he needs (or wants) those things and love him for who he is.
We have tried to change his sleeping patterns to fit with the "real" world and it doesn't work. He really has to try HARD to get to bed before midnight. I, on the other hand, prefer to be in bed between 9 and 10. We are working on allowing that need to be filled. It's hard for me because I like to be with him, so I choose to stay up. I'm recognizing my NEED to get more sleep.
We are trying to find the balance in both situations that works for our family. In the first, what's the "bare minimum" (above what I already do) that he would like done to feel like he's not coming home to a disaster? And in the second, can we be okay with me going to bed earlier and him later and STILL connect in the evening after the children go to bed?
Accepting each other for who we are is a huge thing. Not just in marriages but in friendships too.
Striving to learn and live God's purposes,
2 comments:
I LOVE this post. I remember complaining about my dh's football watching our first football season together and my mom said "kathryn, you knew he was like that when you married him.". Hmm, yes, I did!
Now, to his credit, he watches a little less than he used to and I know a little more about football than I used to.
In a Godly marriage, we DO accept hwo the other person is and work hard to put their needs before ours.. Taht's hard for us humans to od..
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it
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