At this time I would like to take the time to respond to the comments that have been left for me on my Modesty post.
Anonymous said:
There are certainly outfits out there that make my eyes spread wide, my jaw drop and make me think "seriously!" It might be nice if at times individuals would put more consideration into what they wear but are we really going to church to judge a book by its cover, isn't there more important things to focus on? If a homeless man came into your church with tattered clothing and terrible hygiene would you welcome him or sit and think to yourself that is inappropriate. Would you be disgusted at the fact that he was setting a bad example for your children by not bathing and not providing a better life for himself. I think it would certainly be nice if people put a little.more thought into their attire, but aren't you just happy to see them. Why would we not trust in our abilities to teach our children what we believe to be inappropriate and appropriate. I think the more important thing would be to teach the message that when we truly have God in our hearts we should want to live to the glory of God and that we might want to consider doing so in every aspect of our lives including appearance and let each decide that for themselves.
Are we going to church to judge a book by its cover? Nope, that's not what I'm talking about. Is there more important things to focus on? Maybe. What about the homeless man? HE'S HOMELESS!!!!! I wouldn't expect anything else. I'm talking about expecting MORE of the youth (and ourselves); I'm talking about the EXAMPLE these Christian girls are being or not being to the non-Christian people that may visit our church and those they are in contact with in their schools! I'm talking about holding ourselves as Christians to a higher standard than the world. If these girls are in church on a regular basis, claiming to be Christians, coming from Christian homes they need to be in but not of the world. They need to be above reproach.
Dear Anonymous, your last statement is what I'm talking about! We need to teach the specifics of "this attire is not appropriate" by God's standards. Let each decide for themselves, yes, but with instruction! How can they know if we don't teach them a DIFFERENT message than the world is giving them?
Mrs. Ann said:
I myself am a full-time covering Christian. I wear ankle length jumpers and the style of Muslim hijab known as an al-amira, which is sort of like a tube head scarf that covers your whole head, leaving only the face visible. I attend a great church, however, every Sunday, I see the pastor's wife and daughters sitting in the first row in jeans that emphasize their bottoms, short skirts or shorts (not short shorts, just shorts), tops that show their bras (as in you can see them through the top) or the bra straps. I see other people wearing what I consider to be inappropriate clothing as well. However, I feel that it is the individual's calling as to whether they will dress like me (I am the only one who covers in my church) or otherwise. I do not make any comments on anyone's dress (ok, I comment on it to my husband). I have hopes that God will show them through me and my style of dress that which is more appropriate wear. I searched long (we are talking 10 plus years) for a church that I truly felt at home in, so I don't allow the dress code issue to bother me. They all completely accept me as I dress without looking at me like I am a "weirdo".
Thank you very much, Mrs. Ann, for your comments. I agree with you that the dress issue is a minor issue. I agree that we should be an example of proper dress. The more I read and research I find that there are bigger issues to be dealt with in the church and community. I need to come before God, examine my heart and my dress and be in a place that God would have me and my daughters be in our dress.
another anonymous commenter said:
For sure the girls need to be taught to dress properly as to honor God. But have you noticed that there are also married women in the church wearing mini skirts topped off with a tight cleavage showing shirt? That's what truly disgusts me. The way we dress directly influences men of all ages. I think there is nothing wrong with teaching modesty but I don't think it's our responsibility to approach other parents. I know you'll do the best with your girls.
I totally agree with you. There are married women (or older single women) in the church dressing improperly as well! (Although I don’t find this to be an issue in my specific church.) But I have a question, if we are not to approach other parents about our feelings in regards to their daughters’ (or sons) attire, who do we approach? How do we instruct these women to dress more modestly? Is it the role of the elders? Thank you for your confidence in my parenting. I do trust that I will do the best that I possibly can with God’s help. I am thankful that I am learning about and addressing this issue of modesty NOW when my girls are young so that proper dress will be well established by the time they are more impressed by the world than they are now.
In further reading and study I used biblestudytools.com (and other websites) to go back to the Greek and read about what the words translated “modest apparel” really mean, and what that means for our time and place. I found it interesting that what I learned was inline with what I was most comfortable wearing in public. I am slowly discovering the standard that I am comfortable measuring against.
Striving to learn and live God's purposes,
5 comments:
So can we your audience assume that you and your children would never participate in CO-ED swimming? On your post overall I tilt get at the point you are making...I believe opinions make us diverse and can broaden our world. At the same I think that we (and I say we because I am not innocent) could find more important to pass judgment on if we insist on passing judgment. I do not know where you attend church but if I did I think that I would steer clear because I want to attend a church community that accepts me with open arms and smiling faces, not one that has somebody sitting in a pew body checking me and turning up their nose because I didn't wear something up to their standard.
Since I've only recently found your blog, I missed your original post, which I will go seek out later. I write often on modesty as well. It is a topic near to my heart. I am a skirt wearing, fashionable, mommy. Fashionable and modest. It can be done. I love being a girl, dressing like a girl, and dressing modestly to honor God, and my station in life as the mommy of a large family. I think hubby likes it, and I know I'm setting a right example for my children.
Dear Anonymous. I will answer your questions here briefly. I have not decided if I will go more in depth in another post or not. I appreciate your thought provoking comments.
My children and I do participate in CO-ED swimming. I do not believe we will change that at this point in our lives. Our girls wear one piece or tankini suits, not bikini. If they are not in the water I like to insist that they wear a cover - a t-shirt, a light dress or something similar.
I have in no way intended to put across the impression that my church or members of my church are "sitting in a pew body checking" and "turning up their nose". I do not do so; I would say that those that know me well, would agree. I am not one to pass judgment like that. I try to be loving in my approach to anything that I do.
My comments and posts on this blog are me working through issues that I see around me. My posts are my thoughts, opinions, searching and researching. I do not expect any or all to agree with me. Each is entitled to their own opinion and their own searching.
I will go on to say that I find it highly unlikely that you would be able to find ANY church were there is NO judgment. Where there are human beings there will be judgment to a degree.
My church would accept you with open arms and smiling faces. Someone would probably invite you over for dinner in the first couple of Sundays you attended. If you came on the first Sunday of the month you would be invited to stay for a time of food and fellowship following the service.
I will not apologize for my working through an issue. I do, however, apologize for making you think I was sitting in judgment of others in my church or in any church. I do not judge them; I love them and want to help them in any way I can. I have spoken to a couple of mothers in our church about this specific topic. Where we couldn't agree, we agreed to disagree. We are still friends! I do not believe judgment was felt, but concern and care.
Thanks again for your comments!
Dear Lily,
I am moving toward more lady-like and feminine clothing. I am slowly adding more skirts to my wardrobe. For a long time, I wore "mommy-wear" - jammie pants or jeans and t-shirts. Now my pants are more dressy as are my tops. I am still able to do my job but I look good doing so. I like how I feel and look and so does my hubby. I am able to run to the store at a moments notice and be properly dressed.
There is so much more to say on this topic(s) - modesty, and femininity.
Thanks for your comments!
Yes, it's a tough one. I really don't know how the parents of inapproiately dressed kids are supposed to be informed. For myself, if I thought it was a huge problem I'd ask God for direction. I'd probably talk to the pastor about it and just leave it alone.
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