What do you keep? A Large Family Issue.

I need to get rid of so much stuff. 

I have BOXES of VCR tapes that I feel expected to keep.  They are Disney ones or something.  We don't even have a VCR player!  UGH!  The expectations of others is sometimes overwhelming!

With clothes that don't fit I keep one banana box of clothes per size (0-3mon) (3-6mon) (9mon) (12mon) (2yrs) (3yrs) (4-5yrs) (6-7) (8plus).  If I have a child moving into that size in the next year or so, I will keep a bit more like one for boys and one for girls.  I need to go through that again.  I have more than I want to keep at this point.

Toys, I just keep getting rid of stuff.  I keep Lego separate from everything.  I have a box for figures, one for animals, one for cars, one for mega-blocs.  Barbie dolls are in bedrooms at this point.  Baby dolls are around; the clothing is in bedrooms I think.  For gifts, we ask for items that they already have, to add to the collections, rather than adding another category that needs a new box.  Or I ask for books, games, etc.  All the puzzles get kept on the shelf, and although they do get messed up, they are kind of all in one spot.  The children are loving puzzles lately.

Clothing is a major issue.  Their clothes are everywhere!  But they each have a laundry day now.  Their stuff is supposed to get done on their day.  We're working on teaching them how to do their own laundry, each and every step.

DVDs are in boxes and in stacks.  Not sure what to do with them either, as far as storage.  Need to figure something out though. 

We are slowly getting more usable storage, as that as been a BIG issue.

One thing I have been told on a yahoo group is: DO THE MATH!  IF there are 10 people living in the house there is going to be a minimum of 20 shoes at the front door.  IF there are 10 people living in the house there are going to be a lot of coats, a lot of dishes, a lot of everything!

I want to get rid of a lot of stuff.  When we moved here, there was lots of room in the house.  Now we are full to the brim, but I have to remember that we've added one more person and there is one on the way that I've already got a dresser for and such.  Three is still so much that we have that we don’t really need.

Another issue is that people bring us stuff and this issue is NOT the stuff or the people BRINGING the stuff.  The issue is me!  I am not very good as saying no.  There is very little new stuff in our home.  I don't have to purchase anything but consumables, and even some of that we get.  I AM SO GRATEFUL for the love our community bestows upon us.  I do not usually turn things down, but I am getting better about getting choosy about what we keep.  I am getting better at saying, "I already have 5 of those."  It totally depends on the person that I say that to as well.  Now I just need to get choosy about what stays here.  I need to get picky about what stays.  I need to get stuff out of here that we don't really need, don't really want, and aren't actually using.  I am sure if people knew I was overwhelmed with the stuff being brought to our home, they would want me to say no, to set a boundary.  I think that’s what I’m moving toward in this situation – setting healthy boundaries in the area of STUFF.  The problem is me: I don’t like saying no.

It's too easy to keep things.  For "someday".  For "just in case".  Because it would offend “so and so” if I got rid of it. 

Part of my issue is energy.  I need to just take a few minutes a day and work on just one area of the house and get rid of that stuff.  After all, I can do a few moments at a time, right?  Once I’m back on my feet again, after baby gets settled, I’ll do a little more.

The more I think and talk about this issue, the more I am convinced that more stuff needs to go.  Over the summer I have rid our house of S.T.U.F.F. – Something That  Undermines Family Fun.  I have to get rid of the amount of stuff that works for our family, not the amount that works for another family.

I think that our idea of NEED is different than it needs to be.  I think we say NEED when we really mean WANT.  I want my kids to have lots of toys and lots of clothing.  Do they NEED lots of these things.  Not really!  They need to have clothes on their backs.  They need to look presentable, but they don’t NEED 15 or 30 of something.  I don’t either.  Defining what my family NEEDS versus what my family WANTS is an ongoing battle and may change as life circumstances change.  Part of that battle is with ourselves, with society, with our children. 

I don’t want us to be too much weirder than we already are, but at the same time I want us to be happy and free of the stress of STUFF.  I want us to have more fun and to deal with less.  We have a big house to begin with and this house requires quite a bit of cleaning just to keep on top of things.  With less stuff, I hope and believe that this time will decrease so that we can do more fun!

I think about when we go camping.  We only take the minimum requirements.  I would like to get our items down to a little more than camping level.  I think.  I’m still processing.  I’m still sorting and organizing.

 

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,