Camping – what I learned.

This long weekend just passed we went camping with our church family.  My dh and I both grew up in camping families.  We have many fun memories from our childhoods surrounding yearly camping trips.  I have wanted to capture some of those memories for our own children.  Since we got married in 2000, we have gone on only a couple of camping trips – the first year we were married J and I went for about a week and then a couple summers ago we went with my best friend and her family for one night.

 

Okay, on to what this trip has taught me.

The very first camping trip (after not going for years and years and years) is expensive.  There are things you need to and want to purchase to make the trip enjoyable.  Some of the things we purchased we could have done without this time (and every time, probably).  Other things, like food, we really needed.

Packing for 7 can be a lot of work!  My three oldest children packed their own clothing, with instructions on how much of each item to pack.  So that cut my work load down a bit.  I had to pack clothing for myself and the little two.  When W started to pack his own bag, he filled it with Duplo Blocs; that kinda tells me he’s not quite ready to pack his on his own, even with instructions.

Who says you need a tent or a camper?  hee hee.  We slept in our vehicles.  The children slept in the bus and J and I planned to sleep in the Charger.  However, the air mattress we purchased was about a foot too long for the back of the truck.  We had a tarp and planned to sleep under that, as we did not have a tent.  However, another family had brought a couple of tents – one for them and one for their teen daughter.  The daughter graciously gave up her tent for us.  We will need to purchase a tent!

We went for three days to a group campsite, so the cost was minimal that way.  The church accepted donations to help pay for the site.

I learned that I pack too much food and not enough clothing or blankets.  We talked about staying an extra night.  We would have been okay for food; in fact we will be eating the leftovers from our camping trip for the next few days.  I did not take into account bedwetting, falling in the river more than once, very cool evenings.

One thing that I took that I was so very glad we packed were the walkie-talkies.  With these in hand, the children were able to go to the park at the other end of the campground and still have contact with us.  I like to give our children this freedom and responsibility.  I think this teaches them a lot.  I was so surprised with how responsible, and obedient they were when they were called back to camp.  I was very pleased.  Of course we had the rule that they had to go in pairs at least, never alone.

Camping with a group (or another family) will be very different than if we were camping alone.  With a group, if there is something you’ve forgotten (a pot, a cutting board, a flipper for pancakes) someone will probably have that item.  When you are on your own, you will have to make due.

Bring toilet paper!  I am so glad that we remembered.  Even though the campground did provide the outhouses with toilet paper, the supply was not consistent!  There could have been times when we would have been without had we not carried our own in our vehicles.

I think we will plan to set up the camp a little differently next time.  Our tent was set up close to the road.  We had a drunk driver come through the group camping area (not one of our members) in the middle of the night; things were a little scary for a while.  I was concerned that this driver could have driven over our tent or another close to us.  I would rather have our vehicles closest to the road for protection.

Unpacking s.u.c.k.s!  We have been home for 24 hours now and have only unpacked the basics – food and the needed clothing and bedding.  Sigh.  It’s a rainy day today, so I’m sure that is not helping.  Really though, I can’t wait to get things re-organized so we can go again.  I think better organization will be key to having more fun and more spontaneity.

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

Thinking about "free range" kids

I put as my facebook status earlier this week the following:

#freerangekids do you know exactly where your children are? or do you allow them some leeway to make that type of decision on their own?

You can read some responses there, if you are my friend on facebook. Here's my response, modified for more description and discussion here on my blog.

Okay, maybe I'll clarify a little. My kids are all under 8. They have a boundary of about a block. On two sides of that block are busier roads. If they can't hear me bellow for them, they are in the wrong place. As long as they are in that boundary, I don't keep track of where they are. That includes W {when with the others} (2.5) but not R (1).

K (8) goes to the library just under a block away by herself, with permission and a time limit. Sometimes she takes another sibling, including W.

I will send the three oldest (8, 7, 4) to a public bathroom together, to use the toilet(s) and then to find me in the store. I send any one of the those three to another part of the store to get an item or find their dad.

I remember the summer that two of cousins and I were supervising all the younger cousins at the lake. All three of us had quite a bit of life guarding / swimming training and we to be supervising the water play. Well, we were "free range" kids. We had a boundary and some guidelines but there were no parents in sight. We were in "bellowing" distance; well, except for that bit of time when the three of us on tubes got out so far that the wind and current was pulling us further and further from the edge and the other kids. We had to be rescued by a passing group of boating men who wouldn't go to our beach because they didn't know where the rocks were. Then we had to walk the distance back to our beach and cabin! Oh boy! Did we get it!?!?!?! lol.

I guess I'm talking about age appropriate decisions. I mean I wouldn't just ask my 8 year old to make a decision about whether to operate or not operate in an medical situation. But at 8 I think she's old enough to be obedient when out of my sight and if not then to know the consequences. I think she's old enough to decide if she's cold and should come in the house on a cool day or where a coat while out.

I think our children need to be allowed to play and learn out of our sight; to make mistakes and know that they can come to us when those mistakes are made so that we can help them learn to do better next time. Free range is about educating our children so they can decide for themselves. I think the earlier the better in a lot of cases.

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

Ok, Seriously, People!

Okay, read this post at Free Range Kids first.

Then check out this stick.



Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

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Trying to be more Free Range

After watching a program on CTV called Lost Adventures of Childhood, I found this blog by one of the mothers featured on the program. Her name is Lenore Skenazy. She allowed her pre-teen to come home alone on the subway. He had no cell phone. She trusted that he would ask for help if he needed it. And you know what? He made it home and was so very proud of himself. He learned some great skills that day.

I am very sad with the state of parenting in today's society. We coddle our children and don't allow them to experience things for themselves. We don't allow them to test themselves and gain confidence. Our fears are fed and provoked by tv shows and the media. Lenore Skenazy writes at Free Range Kids and her latest post is about how CSI has affected our parenting. The following is the comment I left on her blog (modified for here).

CSI group of shows are the favorite shows in this house, but Lenore is right. I think it does feed our fears a little. We have four almost free range children and a baby. The older four are free to be in our yard and the neighbors’. We have no fence, but trees surrounding the yards. I allow our oldest to walk the half block to our library a couple times a week. She is seven and a half. Sometimes she takes one sibling with her.

Just this afternoon we walked to our post office and I practiced allowing them to be a little more free range by allowing them to run just a little further ahead than I normally do. I usually keep the younger two (3.5 and 2) close, but I allowed them to go too. We were all fine.

Also, I considered, when we stopped at the post office to allow the four to play at a nearby park (ages 7, 6, 3, 2) while I went inside to grab the mail and some stamps. But I changed my mind. I didn’t know how long I was going to be inside and I didn’t trust that the oldest would keep the youngest off the street. So I called them to come to me. They responded immediately! I was so impressed with them. I then allowed them to play on the grass and ramp outside the building while I went inside. They stayed where they were supposed to or came in when they were done what they were exploring.

I’m learning more and more that people are generally good. My kids are great communicators (even the 2 yo) and I trust that they would ask for help if they needed it. I am slowly opening my free range wings. My husband is too, though he’s a little “behind” me in this.

We had a baby die at 12 days old. We know the pain of the loss of a child. We would never want to experience that again. At the same time, we don’t want to coddle or baby the others. It is a matter of finding balance and knowing our children and what they are capable of. And giving them the tools they need to be safe.

I say these things with some concerns, some struggles. Many of the children in our neighborhood have not been trained or are just acting stupid. They play on the busy street (a highway through our town) without leaving the road when semi-trucks are coming and such things. It scares me! There is no reason for this play because we have parks and playgrounds and skateboarding areas. I don't believe that these children are true free range children, but more so children left to their own devices without proper training and teaching.

Or, that these children are products of a society. We have raised a generation of un-spanked grandmothers and grandfathers. Spoiled rotten adults. They will be adults one day anyway. Who wants that??? Grandmothers are tough enough to deal with. (Presently reading grandmothers are not included in this general statement!) But selfish and spoiled ones will be even worse. Isn't it a grandmothers' job to spoil with loving attention and care their grandchildren? Not the other way around.

But I digress from the topic at hand.

This idea of allowing our children to be free range may seem easy, but by just watching the children in my neighborhood, there is more to it than just allowing our children to run free. We need to help them understand safety and respect. (Respect is severely lacking in society today.) Being a free range parent is not easy. It is like walking the wrong way up the stream. And it takes a lot of work to give our children the skills needed; to work ourselves out of a job by the time they are in their teens.

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,