Nine Plus Nine

I have slowly been coming to a realization.  After 7 pregnancies.  Adjusting to a new baby takes a long time.

 

An expectant mother is expecting for approximately 9 months.  Her body goes through many many changes – hormonal, emotional, physical, relational, and more.

 

And then there is the labor and delivery.  More changes.

 

The baby arrives and the family changes.  Mom’s body needs to recover from the pregnancy changes; there are many post-partum issues that can possibly arise as well.

 

I never made a connection until the last couple of pregnancies that on average, in my experience, it takes 9  months to make a baby, and 9 months to adjust to that baby after it arrives.  That’s a year and a half of “upheaval” in the life of a family.  The first four pregnancies I experienced were really a blur.  Kristyn and Cora came very close together with Kristyn being only a year old when Cora arrived.  Cora was just barely 8 months old when Harvey was conceived.  And then the years of grief after his death shadowed Marrissa’s birth. 

 

By the time Wyatt was on the way, I was beginning to realize that I needed to give myself time to rest and recover after the birth of a baby.  I remember hardly moving off the couch for the first week or so, after Wyatt’s birth.  After Rayna, I stayed on the couch a little longer.  After Matthias, I spent most of the first 6 weeks on the couch!  I am better for it, I know.

 

Matthias is now almost 8 months old.  I feel my old self coming back.  I have energy again.  I am keeping up better with the house work.  I can’t wait for spring to go walking again.  I am baking bread and looking forward to gardening with Jason and putting that produce away for our family to use come next winter.

 

Yesterday, I made six loaves of bread, kept the dishes caught up, did 5 or 6 loads of laundry, made meals, bathed children, swept up, sorted and folded clean laundry, took the dog out to do his business.  A lot of this is regular day to day stuff and needs to be done regardless of how tired I am.  Until recently, some of these things went undone for days.

 

I am excited to, one, make the connection, and two, be back to myself again!

 

I guess my message to new and expectant moms is give yourselves a break!  And 18 month break.  Live in the season that is this new baby.  Love on your baby.  Allow the siblings to love on the baby.  If you homeschool, relax.  Your children will learn and there is nothing better than learning to be a family!  There is time for all the other stuff later.

We’re Just Different. It’s Okay. Number 1.

My family tends to (naturally) run at a "late" schedule in comparison to the rest of the world.  We go to bed late - kids in bed by 8:30 but not asleep until at least an hour later, and J and I at midnight or later. And we wake later - 8 or 9 and then we start our day. 

 

We don’t eat breakfast at breakfast time.  It’s usually closer to 10 or 11 AM before we are eating our cereal.  So that means lunch is around 2 or later.  And supper is at “bedtime” around 7 or 8 PM.  So that means bedtime is shifted too.  See?  I am just going to have to learn to be okay with it.  (That sentence was hard to type.  I hope it wasn’t too hard to follow.)

 

Now we have been living like this for a while.  And I am just now getting my mind wrapped around it.  Like 8 years.  So silly.

 

I am giving myself permission to live this way.  There is nothing wrong with living this way.  I homeschool our children so we don’t have to conform to an earlier bedtime, etc because we can “do” school whenever we want.  My husband’s job is WEIRD in comparison to a lot of jobs out there.  He is often leaving for work at weird hours of the day – 4 (AM or PM), 7 (AM or PM) – and getting home at 11 (usually PM) or 3 in the afternoon.  So when a lot of moms would be getting up at 7 or earlier to get kids off to school, I don’t have to.  I can get up later and let my children get up later (and stay up later) than a lot of other families can.

 

When I think about it, I really like this.  There is freedom in realizing who you and your family really are.  And accepting who you are.

 

Striving to learn and live God's purposes,

I'm proud of me, again!

Today I went through my pre-pregnancy clothes in search of something to wear. I've been wearing maternity pants and my "inbetween" clothes since Baby R's birth in late October. Today, I'm pleased to say that most of my pants fit! I can put away my maternity pants. I have a little way to go to get to the rest, but being that Baby is just 6 months old, I think I'm doing pretty good. I'm planning to work hard (haven't really worked too hard until now) to get to the next size down because when I get there, I have some beautiful skirts that I want to wear through the summer! That and I'll feel healthier too.


Striving to learn and live God's purposes,